Alone weekend.

San Sebastien, Spain, circa 1989

This morning  is around the midpoint of my alone weekend.  It’s gone okay so far.  I haven’t been as productive as I’d like, but  I’m trying to be fine with it, to release that guilt from not doing something. Still, there’s that constant, nagging feeling of  “I should be doing something.”  There are a basketful of tasks that I’d planned to tackle during these three days, but of course not everything will get done.  The time to think and clear my head has been helpful, so I now present a list of the extremely deep thoughts I’ve had over the past day and a half:

  • When I went to Kroger to get my provisions, I overstocked and understocked some items.  The next time I will know to get two bags of M & M’s, but not as many fancy olives.
  • I’ve spent more time than I thought I would staring into space wondering what to do next.  It reminds me of when the girls were babies and I knew I had a finite amount of time to do something but couldn’t decide what to do with it.  Do I work?  Do I play?  Do I rest?  And then as soon as I’d decided, the baby woke up.
  • Friday afternoon on East State Street made me feel like I might as well still be living outside of DC in Montgomery County, Maryland.  A traffic jam!
  • I love not being social.  The last time I was alone, I had some friends over, which was fun, but then a few of them stayed past when I was ready to be alone, and wow, it was frustrating.  I was ready for my evening solitude to begin, and they settled in for more chatting.  They don’t get quality girlfriend time that often, but since I get plenty of it (and am constantly grateful),  it was a struggle continuing to entertain them.
  • “Salt” is the perfect movie for an alone night.  I just love spy films; the more implausible the better.
  • Last night H. and I went to see “Unknown” with Liam Neeson and I loved that, too.  Not spies, though…ASSASSINS. Fun.
  • We went out afterward and talked about some very sad and some very funny topics.  The funniest moment was when H.  learned I can’t flirt.  It was a shocking revelation to her, apparently, since so many people enjoy it and know how to do it (I will not mention any names here).   Maybe the ability to flirt  is one of those secrets the world holds that I am not in on.  I would be a terrible spy if I had to flirt to save someone’s life or to prevent a bomb from going off at a gala filled with dignitaries.
  • Speaking of bombs, the clothes bomb that went off in Charlotte’s room has been contained.  I filled a bag of giveaway clothes and sorted that circus out.  I am not a huge fan of most of her wardrobe, but I didn’t spend a penny on it so probably shouldn’t complain.
  • I took a little country drive, but not a very exciting one.  Out County Rd. 25, down Terrell road (really steep), along River Road, then left on 50/32 and back to East State.  It was kind of disappointing, but that’s probably because it was a spontaneous decision and the only drive I could think of that would loop me back to Big Lots.
  • At Big Lots, I took a leap of faith and bought tampons from suspicious brands, one of them being Seventh Generation, and that is because I had no desire to go into to Kroger or CVS just for tampons. If you were a clerk and someone bought only a box of tampons (or condoms or diapers for that matter) wouldn’t your first thought be, “Hmm, don’t plan ahead much, do you?”  It is not time to use break them out yet, but I admit I’m not entirely confident in their protective abilities.

Today will be different time spent alone.  I’ll stick around here for a few more hours, then, depending on my mood, I may leave in enough time to take a little hike at Ash Cave.  I’ll take the camera and do some experimenting.  Then to Circleville to meet Mom and Dad for lunch, relax with them for a hours, and attend the installation service for the new minister.  I shall zip home and have my final night alone here. Maybe I will go see another movie or maybe I will make fancy brussels sprouts and carmelized tofu and watch something here.  Haven’t decided yet.

Decisions like whether or not to cook a fancy dinner for one or go to another movie  are what alone weekends are all about, right?


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